At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
