If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
