He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
