i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cannot find my penis.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
