How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
