are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
