drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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