so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
