Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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