Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
