quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
