If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
