someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
