Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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