soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
