I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
