she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
