I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've blown a few things in my day
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
