It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That accounts for only three of the penises
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
