hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You're like the curious george of whores
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
