You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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