matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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