she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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