She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
then he tried to convert me to islam
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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