sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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