I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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