Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
