Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
