does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
