My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
