Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
