Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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