This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this will be a night to untag.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
