And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
