I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
