If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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