i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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