The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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