i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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