Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
