Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
