South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
