Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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