i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
