Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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