I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
