i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
