on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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