So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
