Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
