I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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