Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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