you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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