great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
