Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
