nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
