See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
