Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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