So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
