Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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