9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
