Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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