So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize