did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
