have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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