Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize